Imagine a scenario where someone hands me a textbook:
Them: “Memorize this”
Me: “Why?”
Them: “The more you memorize the higher you’ll score”
Me: “Why do I want a high score?”
Them: “The higher your score, the higher you rank”
Me: “Why do I want to be highly ranked?”
Them: “Your rank is proportional to how qualified you are and your potential to excel in a future field”
Me: “Okay I get that I need to be properly qualified”
Them: “That’s great!”
Me: “But how does me knowing exactly what is already written here prepare me?”
Them: “It shows you can focus to the utmost limit and perform in the manner you’re instructed, and thus able to excel in future endeavors”
Me: “But you you see what I really want is to write what’s not in the book”
Them: “Well if you know all the details then you will be more aware of what you need to do next”
Me: “But this textbook was written decades ago. I agree that I need to understand the unchanging fundamentals and be well prepared, but there are diminishing returns in memorizing the entire textbook”
Them: “Ah you see, but if you rank highly, we can match you with a program with more resources and tools to help you fill out the unwritten pages”
Me: “But that would take many years until I get there. Isn’t it better to start learning now how I can write those unwritten pages?”
Them: “You will get there when you get there, what matters now is your rank. Focus on the now”
Me: “I just don’t see how it’s a good use of my time to memorize what has already been written for decades and known by millions of people. To honest I find this incredibly boring”
Them: “You sound very haughty, especially since you haven’t actually even memorized the book. Look if you get a high rank, you can go into a nice lifestyle and be happy”
Me: “But you see I don’t really care about that. Money, recognition, and success don’t really matter to me. I just want to fill out those empty pages”
Them: “That sounds pretty selfish…”
Me: “Yeah sorry, I can’t help it”
Them: “Well if you continue like this, you will likely end up pretty mediocre by our standards.”
Me: “I guess it can’t be helped. But it’s a big world, right? Maybe I’ll figure out something along the way”
Undocumented Physician Scientist in Training 